Who can help me settle my parents’ estate? The professionals every personal representative and executor should know

One of the biggest surprises for many executors and personal representatives isn’t the paperwork. It’s realizing how many different questions they suddenly have.

Who has the original will? Who files the taxes? Who decides what happens to the house? Do I need a probate attorney? Can I hire someone to help?

If you’ve been nominated and appointed as the personal representative or executor of a parent or loved one’s estate, you don’t need to know all those answers on day one. In fact, one of the most important parts of your job isn’t doing everything yourself—it’s identifying the people who can help settle the estate.

As my friend, estate planning attorney Kristina Kisiel of the Law Office of Kristina Z. Kisiel, Esq., P.C., likes to remind her clients, “Make sure your team is in place as early as possible and that everyone knows what everyone else is doing.”

You don’t have to be an estate expert

As a financial advisor who helps heirs with their parents’ estates frequently, one of the biggest misconceptions I see is that being named executor means you have to become an attorney, accountant, financial advisor, real estate agent, property manager, and family mediator overnight.

That’s not your job.

Yes, you’re responsible for making sure everything gets done. But there are so many people you can call on who can help you get the job done the right way, without it taking over your whole life.

Some professionals will guide you through legal requirements. Others will help with taxes or investments. And some of the most valuable members of your team may be family members, neighbors, or trusted friends who simply help keep things moving while you focus on the bigger picture.

Knowing who to call—and when—is one of the most valuable skills an executor can have. And that’s why I wrote this article.

If you’re wondering	Start here
I found the will. Now what?	Estate planning attorney
How do I get appointed as executor or personal representative?	Probate attorney
What assets did the deceased own?	Financial advisor
What do I do about taxes?	CPA or estate tax professional
How am I going to keep up the house?	Property manager, family, neighbors, or local contractors
Can I decline the executor role?	Estate planning attorney

Your estate settlement team: The people and professionals who can help settle an estate

The funeral director

Depending on the arrangements being made for your loved one, a funeral director may be the first professional to join your estate settlement team.

Typically, the funeral home will be your source for official copies of the death certificate (I recommend you get at least ten). Beyond that, I find that funeral directors are a great source for immediate, practical guidance and professional referrals to help you build the rest of your estate settlement team. After all, they do this every day.

The estate attorney

The first call I usually recommend is to the attorney who drafted the estate planning documents. Even if they don’t handle probate administration themselves, they can explain what documents exist, help you understand whether you’re serving as executor, trustee, or both, and point you toward the next steps. Many estate planning attorneys also have probate attorneys in-house or can refer you to one.

Another reason to make the estate attorney your first call: they are typically the ones who hold the original copy of the will, which you will need to file with the court as part of the probate process.

The probate attorney

If the estate needs to go through probate, a probate attorney can help you navigate the court process, prepare and file the paperwork to have you officially appointed as personal representative, explain deadlines and requirements, and guide you through what can otherwise be a confusing process. One of the reasons I encourage executors to reach out early is that the probate process often feels much less intimidating once you have someone walking you through it.

The financial advisor

If your loved one worked with a financial advisor, that person can often become one of your most valuable resources. Financial advisors usually know where accounts are held, how assets are titled, whether beneficiary designations are in place, and which assets may pass directly to heirs versus through probate. They can also help gather account information, coordinate date-of-death valuations, and explain what happens next from an investment and retirement account perspective.

In many families, the financial advisor naturally becomes the person who helps the entire estate settlement team understand the big picture while coordinating with the attorney, CPA, and beneficiaries behind the scenes.

As an advisor myself, I encourage you to take advantage of all the help your loved one’s financial advisor is willing to offer. Your questions, calls, and emails are not a burden. In fact, helping our clients’ wealth transition to their heirs part of the service we offer at Berkshire Money Management – it’s our job and we’re happy to help in any way we can.

The tax professional

Taxes are one of the areas that make many executors the most nervous—and for good reason. Most people have never filed a tax return for someone who has passed away, let alone managed tax obligations for an estate.

A CPA or estate tax professional can help determine which returns need to be filed, what deadlines apply, and whether there are any tax issues that should be addressed before assets are distributed.

Note that not all CPAs are willing to file estate tax returns. Your estate attorney, probate attorney, or financial advisor may be able to connect you with a tax professional who specializes in that area.

The home team

Landscapers, cleaners, contractors, property managers, appraisers, and real estate agents can all play an important role in managing an estate that includes a home. If a home will sit vacant while the estate is being settled, someone still needs to mow the lawn, maintain the property, coordinate repairs, and prepare it for sale if that’s ultimately the plan. Remember that those responsibilities do not have to fall on the executor – the estate can pay for these services. Just be sure to keep good records of who you paid, how much, and why.

Depending on the situation, you may also find yourself working with an insurance agent, locksmith, utility companies, movers, or even a snow removal service. The goal isn’t to personally take care of every responsibility—it’s to make sure the property is protected until the estate can be settled.

Trusted family, friends, and neighbors

Kristina and I see this play out with oldest daughters especially: they’re the ones fielding questions from siblings, coordinating appointments, sorting paperwork, and trying to keep everyone informed. Being named executor doesn’t mean every responsibility belongs to you alone. Maybe your nephew will mow the lawn and shovel the snow. Or your siblings can attend appointments and work on the tax return. You owe it to yourself to ask.

If you’re managing an estate from a distance, perhaps a trusted neighbor who can keep an eye on the property, collect mail, or let you know if something doesn’t seem right can be enormously helpful. Here in the Berkshires, I know a couple who went next door and cleaned out the fridge after their neighbor’s passing because their daughter wouldn’t be able to fly in for a few days.

Sometimes, the people who make the biggest difference aren’t professionals at all. They’re the neighbor who notices the basement window was left open after a storm, the niece who drops by to water the plants, or the friend who helps coordinate donations after the house is cleaned out.

Those acts of kindness may never appear in the probate paperwork, but they can make an overwhelming season feel much more manageable.

Professional fiduciaries and trust companies

In some situations, an executor may decide they don’t want to serve in the role at all. And that’s okay. You can easily decline the nomination.

Usually, the court will seek to appoint another family member to be the executor/personal representative, and in some cases a professional fiduciary, trust company, or other qualified professional can step in to administer the estate.

For people who are dealing with significant family conflict, complex assets, demanding careers, health concerns, or simply too much on their plate already, professional administration can provide tremendous relief.

It takes a village to settle an estate

The executors who seem to handle everything effortlessly usually aren’t doing it alone.

They’re asking questions. They’re accepting help. They’re leaning on professionals who have guided families through this process many times before.

Take a deep breath. Make the first phone call. Then make the second.

You don’t have to carry this alone—and no one expects you to.

Feeling overwhelmed by your executor duties?

Read I’ve been named a personal representative. What happens next?

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