I’ve been named personal representative– what happens next?

The death of a parent or loved one can be an incredibly difficult time. You’re grieving the loss, making funeral arrangements, and, if the will nominates you as the executor of the estate (or, as Massachusetts now calls it, “personal representative”), you may find yourself looking at a long list of new responsibilities.

For many people, being named personal representative or executor triggers a fair amount of panic. What am I supposed to do? Where do I start? How long is this going to take? What happens if I make a mistake?

The good news is that you don’t need to know everything on day one. In fact, most people have no idea what to do next. That’s why I teamed up with my good friend, estate planning attorney Kristina Kisiel from The Law Office of Kristina Z. Kisiel, Esq., PC to help first-time personal representatives like you find your way through the process.

You can decline

Before we get too deep into the subject of estate executor duties, I want to share something important with you: being named executor or personal representative doesn’t mean you must serve. If the timing, family circumstances, or complexity of the estate make the role unmanageable – or if you’ve spent years caring for your parents and simply don’t have the energy – it’s easy to decline the appointment.

I asked Kristina Kisiel what actually happens when someone decides not to serve:

“The person who’s nominated in the will isn’t the person who’s required to bring the petition for probate,” Kristina explained. “If there’s a successor named in the will, that person usually moves forward. If there isn’t, the attorney works with whichever interested family member volunteers to serve.”

In other words, you don’t have to file special paperwork just to say no. (But it may be helpful to let your family know. They’ll work with the attorney to identify the next appropriate person.)

Kristina shared that she recently worked with a family where the oldest daughter had spent nearly a decade caring for both her parents, managing their finances, and coordinating their care. Naturally, she was also named executor. After her second parent passed away, she felt that she didn’t have anything left to give.

Rather than forcing herself to continue, she stepped aside. The family agreed that another sibling would serve as personal representative instead. Everyone signed the necessary paperwork, the estate moved forward successfully, and the oldest daughter finally got a break.

What does an estate executor or personal representative actually do?

At its core, being an executor (or personal representative in Massachusetts) means managing someone’s estate after they pass away and making sure their affairs are handled according to the law and the instructions they left behind. This often means shepherding the estate through probate, the court-supervised process of settling a person’s estate after they pass away.

It’s a fiduciary role, which means you’re expected to act in the best interests of the estate rather than your own interests. You’ll be responsible for notifying heirs, maintaining records, paying legitimate expenses, and helping ensure assets ultimately reach the right beneficiaries.

That sounds intimidating, and to be honest, it can be a lot. But there is something important that executors need to hear: The courts do not expect perfection.

 What matters is that you act in good faith, keep reasonable records, ask questions when necessary, and make a sincere effort to follow the process. That distinction alone can remove a tremendous amount of pressure.

What to do in the first days after a death

One of the biggest mistakes executors and personal representatives make is assuming they need to solve everything immediately. You don’t. And until you’re appointed by the probate court, you can’t.

In fact, one of the most helpful pieces of advice I can offer is to take a breath before worrying about what happens to the house, the jewelry, the investment accounts, or any inheritance distributions.

The estate will take time to settle, especially if the assets are going through probate. There’s no need to rush.

First, understand your role

The first priority is understanding what you’re actually responsible for.

If you’re nominated as a personal representative or executor in the will, you will need to be appointed by the courts before you begin the settlement process.

If you’re listed as a trustee for assets held in a trust, you may begin managing any assets in that trust separate from any probate process.

Get copies of the death certificate

Many financial institutions, insurance companies, government agencies, and other organizations will require original certified copies of the death certificate (not photocopies) before they’ll process paperwork or release information. The funeral home usually helps with death certificates, but in some cases you might get them somewhere else, such as the hospital where the deceased passed away.

I usually suggest estate executors or personal representatives get at least 10 certified copies of the death certificate upfront, which will save a lot of back and forth later.

Secure estate property

As the estate executor, you’re responsible for securing any property that may be part of the estate. That can mean making sure a home remains locked, maintaining insurance coverage, collecting mail, keeping up with basic maintenance, and ensuring valuables are protected. A property going through probate may sit vacant for quite some time. The goal for now isn’t to make decisions about the property – just preserve it.

Kristina shared that, legally, unless the property is in a trust and you are a trustee, executors and personal representatives can’t change locks, start cleaning out the house, or even pay utility bills until they’re officially appointed by the probate court. In practice, many families start taking care of the property right away, but you should be aware that such actions could cause problems in a contested estate.

Begin locating key documents

Another early priority in the first days after a loved one’s passing is to identify key documents and begin to understand what assets exist. Hopefully, your loved one left behind a list of accounts, a death binder, or organized records. If not, you’ll likely find yourself doing a bit of detective work through tax returns, statements, filing cabinets, and conversations with financial institutions.

Kristina suggests locating and reviewing documents before meeting with the probate attorney because the types of assets in an estate determine what kind of estate administration is required. Knowing what’s involved from the start can save you a lot of time and trouble.

Don’t wait too long to ask for help

I can’t say this enough: you’re not expected to handle your estate executor or personal representative duties on your own. Most executors have a whole team of professionals on their side, including a probate attorney, financial advisor, and CPA.

 I usually recommend that your first call be to the attorney who prepared the estate documents. The attorney often has the original signed will, which usually needs to be filed with the court. They may also have notes about your loved one’s intentions or be able to explain how the estate plan was designed to work.

As Kristina put it, “Whomever you think holds the original document—that’s your first call.”

The estate settlement timeline: what to expect

One of the hardest parts of being an executor or personal representative is managing expectations—both your own and everyone else’s.

Many families assume estate settlement and inheritance happens quickly. The reality is that there are many steps that need to happen before beneficiaries receive anything, starting with the appointment of the personal representative by the probate court, a step that can take several months on its own.

Once you’re officially appointed:

• Heirs must be notified
• Final expenses must be paid
• Property may need to be maintained
• Tax returns need to be filed
• Professional fees need to be covered
• Records need to be gathered and reviewed
• In Massachusetts, creditors may have up to a year to make claims against an estate

Understanding that estate settlement may take 9 to 18 months, and communicating that timeline to beneficiaries, can help reduce a lot of unnecessary stress and family tension because, otherwise, your siblings see money sitting in an account, or a house that’s ready to be sold, and wonder what’s taking so long. They don’t see the legal, tax, and administrative steps you’re taking in the background unless communicate.

Don’t forget to write it down

If there’s one practical habit that makes an executor or personal representative’s life easier, it’s good recordkeeping. You don’t need specialized software or complicated accounting systems. What’s important is documenting what you did and, just as importantly, why you did it. If questions arise, you’ll be able to demonstrate that you acted thoughtfully, reasonably, and in good faith. Many executors rely on a spreadsheet or a simple notebook throughout the estate settlement process.

You can do this

If you’ve recently been named executor, this is what I hope you take away from this article: You do not need to know all the answers. And you do not need to carry this entire burden by yourself.

Accept the help.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to take the next step.

Find your next steps

We created the Estate Executor Checklist to help estate executors/personal representatives take the chaos out of estate management, get organized, and keep their role as executor from taking over their lives.

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