What Do You Want Your Wealth to Mean? Legacy planning for high-net-worth families

When families reach a certain level of wealth (often around $5 million dollars of assets) their financial questions begin to shift. It’s no longer just about saving enough for retirement or making sure the portfolio is allocated correctly. The deeper conversation becomes about legacy planning, as high-net-worth families ask themselves, “What do we want this money to mean for our children, our grandchildren, and the community we leave behind?”

In my years supporting high-net-worth families with legacy planning across the Berkshires, Massachusetts, and beyond, I’ve learned that wealth without values rarely creates the impact people imagine. Some families want their children to pursue education without debt. Others want their legacy to be closeness, self-reliance, or the ability to make choices they themselves never had. Some families want to give quietly to causes that shaped their lives, while others hope their generosity inspires the next generation to continue the work. But without clear values, open communication, thoughtful structures, and a commitment to preparing the next generation, your legacy is likely to end with you.

Family legacy planning isn’t just about transferring assets—it’s about transferring values, clarity, and responsibility alongside wealth.

Why family wealth conversations, not dollars, determine your legacy

Silence is one of the biggest threats to multigenerational wealth. When parents avoid discussing their intentions, children are left to guess what Mom and Dad would have wanted. I’ve watched too many families struggle not because the estate plan was flawed, but because parents never explained the “why” behind their decisions.

When families talk openly about their values, everything becomes clear. One client of mine grew up watching his parents support their local church for decades—an institution where the family had celebrated weddings, baptisms, and milestones for nearly seventy years. When they updated their estate plan to include a significant bequest to the church, they shared with their children the role the church community had played in their lives, and how they wanted the same thing for their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Because my client and his siblings knew the value his parents placed on the congregation, they were able to fulfill their parents’ wishes with enthusiasm, and continue their family’s legacy of engaging with and supporting the same community today.

In our Rock-Solid Family Wealth Plan, communication is the mortar that holds everything else together. Without it, even the most technically-sound plans can cause confusion or conflict.

Values: The foundation of meaningful legacy planning

When I ask clients what they want their money to accomplish, the answers vary—but the underlying values tend to be remarkably consistent. Some families believe deeply in education. Others emphasize independence. Many want to instill a sense of financial responsibility or the importance of giving back. And some simply want their children to have an easier life than they had. Whatever values you hold, the key is to name them out loud and set expectations for yourself and your family.

I once worked with a family whose son had spent years in school—undergraduate, graduate school, doctorate, postdoctoral work—and showed no signs of stopping. His parents worried he would never build a career but, despite their misgivings, they continued to financially support his academic pursuits hoping that someday, he would take those degrees and get a high-paying job. Another family I knew encouraged their child to pursue academia indefinitely. They valued their daughter’s love of learning and saw her studies as a core part of their shared identity. Both sets of parents paid for 10+ years of higher education, but each had wildly different values and expectations for the outcome. One family was proud of their child’s education, while the other lived with disappointment.

Every person will have their own set of values. What matters for your legacy is that your heirs know your intentions, values, and what you hope your wealth will do for them.

Succession: Preparing your children for inheritance

Succession planning isn’t just for business owners. It’s about preparing your children to receive and be good stewards of the wealth you’ll leave behind.

I’ve met many clients whose adult children were shocked to learn the size of the estate they were about to inherit. They had no context, no preparation, and no understanding of the purpose behind their parents’ wealth. Those are the situations where inheritances become overwhelming instead of empowering and decades of hard work can disappear in a matter of months.

Healthy succession planning begins long before any money moves. It might look like sharing why you support a particular charity, or walking your children through how you evaluate financial decisions. You may start by simply telling the story of how you built your wealth—what you sacrificed, what you prioritized, and what you hope continues in their own lives.

Family Touchstones: turning values into repeatable wealth decisions

Once your family identifies your core values, Touchstones help turn those values into everyday decision-making tools. Touchstones are simple, guiding questions—easy to use, easy to remember, and incredibly effective at keeping wealth aligned with purpose.

Every family has their own unique set of values, so of course, every family’s Touchstone questions will be different.

• If you value self-reliance: “Are we helping, or are we removing opportunities for them to grow?”
• If you value privacy: “Are we doing this in a way that will avoid unwanted attention?”
• If you value time and togetherness: “Are we investing in memories and connection?”
• If you value generosity: “Does this match the impact we hope to have on the world?”

Touchstones give families a shared language. They turn the abstract (“our values”) into something actionable (“here’s how we make decisions together”). And they help preserve unity, especially when decisions become difficult.

Begin creating a living legacy today

At the end of the day, legacy planning for high-net-worth families isn’t about documents, distributions, or dollar amounts. It’s about defining your values and communicating what you want your wealth to mean for your family, your community, and the generations who will carry your name long after you’re gone. The structures you put in place, the conversations you start, and the values you articulate now are what turn financial success into a true legacy.

If you take one step now, let it be this: write down the three values you most want your family to remember you for and share them with your loved ones. Everything else stems from this one simple action.

Purposeful legacy planning is a set of choices and a way of living that brings your wealth into alignment with what matters most. And once you take that first step, the rest becomes much easier to navigate.

Frequently asked questions

1. How do I figure out which values should guide my legacy plan?

Start by reflecting on what shaped your life: lessons from your parents, moments of sacrifice, causes that matter, or the examples you set for your children. Many families find their core values cluster around things like togetherness, health, responsibility, privacy, hard work, or faith. Your financial advisor can help translate those values into clear goals and actionable strategies.

2. Do I need to tell my children how much money I have to communicate my values?

No. Values-based legacy planning is about meaning, not numbers. Your family doesn’t need your net worth—they need to understand what your wealth is for. Sharing the stories and intentions behind your decisions is far more impactful than any account balance.

3. What if my children have very different values from mine?

This is a normal part of life. The goal with legacy planning is not to force alignment but to create clarity. You can still define what you want your wealth to accomplish, and your estate documents and governance structure can reinforce those goals even if your heirs don’t share all of your values. But you may be surprised how open, empathetic conversations can bridge the divide between generations.

4. How early should I start involving my children or grandchildren in philanthropy or legacy planning?

Earlier than you think. Small, age-appropriate involvement—helping choose a charity, discussing why a cause matters to you, or explaining a financial decision—builds confidence and stewardship long before inheritance enters the picture.

5. What’s the simplest next step if I want to create a values-based legacy plan?

Begin with a conversation—either with your advisor, your estate attorney, or your family. Name your values out loud. From there, you can develop Touchstones, strengthen your governance, and align your tax and estate planning with what matters most. Your legacy plan will take shape naturally once the purpose of your wealth is clear.

Ready to turn your values into a legacy that lasts?

You don’t build a meaningful legacy by accident. It begins with clarity about what matters to you, what you hope your wealth will accomplish, and how you want your children and grandchildren to carry that forward. If you’d like support translating your values into a thoughtful, well-structured plan, my team and I are here to help. It all starts with a 15-minute consultation. We’re here to listen, not judge, and there’s no commitment to become a client.

Some of the names and details in this article have been modified to protect the privacy of the subjects.